This is what I'm working on right now, it's always under construction, so check back often! Sign the g-book and everything. Have fun!!!!! Toodles.
P.S. Look at the photos!!!! They're awesome!
Two blondes are walking in the woods, and they come across some tracks. The first blonde says they're wolf tracks. The second one argues they're deer tracks. Ten minutes later, they get hit by a train.
Two cows are standing in a field. The first cow says to the second cow: "Hey man, are you scared of this mad cow thing going around?" The second cow says: "Why should I be? I'm a chicken."
You're so fat when you walked in front of the TV you missed 34 commercials!
Yo momma so fat she fell in love and broke it!
A father finds his son praying at night. 'God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. Ta ta Grandpa.' The father finds this odd, but doesn't think too much of it. The next morning the grandfather dies. The father remembers the night before, but doesn't say anything. That night, the son prays, 'God bless Mommy and Daddy. Ta ta, Grandma.' The father hopes that nothing happens to the grandmother. Sure enough, the next morning the grandmother dies. At this point the father gets really scared. That night, the son prays "God bless Mommy. Ta ta, Daddy". The father stays up all night long, frightened. Early in the morning he goes to the doctor to make sure everything is fine. When he comes home, his wife is waiting frantically in the driveway and yells "Honey, come quick! The mailman just dropped dead on the porch!"
When I was younger I hated going to weddings... it seemed that all of my aunts and the grandmotherly types used to come up to me, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, 'You're next.' They stopped that crap after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
A priest goes to three nuns who've been pure their whole lives. He says "You all can commit 1 sin". Days later one nun comes to him and says "Father, I robbed a bank." He replies: "Drink from the holy water and God shall forgive you." Hours later another nun comes to him and says "Father, I shot and killed a child." He says "Drink from the Holy water and God shall forgive you." Hours later the last nun comes and he says: "So you sinned, what did you do?" She answers "I peed in the Holy water!"
There was a brunette jumping over railroad tracks saying 28, 28, 28. A blonde walks up to her and says: "What are you doing?" The brunette says: "I'm jumping over the railroad tracks saying 28, 28, 28,.." The blonde says: "That looks like fun!" and joins in. They both jump over the railroad tracks saying 28, 28, 28. A train comes and the brunette jumps off but the blonde dies. When the train finishes passing the brunette starts jumping over the railroad tracks saying 29, 29, 29...
How do you know a blonde is having a bad day? She has a tampon behind her ear and she is looking for her pencil.
A mother was sitting in her garden and her first child went up to her and asked "Mom, why do I have my name?" and she said: "Because when I was pregnant with you I was sitting in the garden and a rose fell on my stomach so I named you Rose". Then her other child went up to her and said: "Mom, why do I have my name?" and her mom replied: "Because I was sitting in the garden and a daisy fell on my stomach so I named you Daisy" So then her last child comes up and says: "Mom, why do I have my name?" and she said: "Shut up Cynderblock, I dont want to talk to you".
